Clit or Cervix?
Posted by Lalu K on
THE CLITORIS VS THE CERVIX
I believe the CERVIX is hands-down, no-question, THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD and under-represented part of our pleasure anatomy.
Yes, I said PLEASURE ANATOMY.
I'll explain.
WHY IS THE CERVIX MISUNDERSTOOD?
Well, what is taught to medical professionals about the cervix hasn't been updated for a long time, and newer research has emerged since then that changes things quite significantly.
Sadly, it takes a long time for this stuff to become commonly accepted knowledge and filter through into common practice.
However, I also think the hype around the CLlTORIS has something to do with the cervix being kept (relatively) in the dark in terms of it's pleasure and 0rgasmic potential.
WHAT CLITORAL ACTIVISM DID FOR US...
There was a wave of CLlTORAL ACTIVISM that definitely had some helpful elements.
it brought:
* more awareness of the full structure of the clitoris
* more focus on pleasure & 0rgasm for vaglna owners
* more awareness of vaginas in general
* some EPIC art, including street art
* and definitely more pleasure and 0rgasms
THE SHADOW SIDE OF CLITORAL ACTIVISM
With this wave of clit-mania, also came a shadow side. A whole bunch of half truths and misinformed 'facts' started to spread.
We were told that the clitoris is 'the source of all 0rgasm'. ��
We were told all 0rgasms are ultimately cIitoral, no matter how different they feel in your body. ��
We were told that the cIitoris is the place with all the nerve endings & therefore the MOST IMPORTANT AREA that we need to give our attention during sex or self pleasure, right?
WE WERE TOLD THAT PENETRATION IS POINTLESS
There was also a kind of anti-penetration angle that some people took, in this cIit-activism wave.��
We were sometimes even told that we don’t get much pleasure from penetration because there aren’t many nerve endings inside the vagina, and the clitoris can be stimulated more easily from the outside anyway, so there's not a lot of reason to have penetrative sex, actually.
(Granted, penetrative sex isn't for everyone, and there's no reason to do it if you're not into it, but let's not believe incorrect information!)
We were even told that penetration is just for MENS pleasure, that it doesn’t really DO much for those of us with vaginas (seriously!)��
We were told that there’s not much point trying to experience internal orgasm, because most women CAN’T anyway, so we may as well just focus on the clitoris. ��
INTERNAL ORGASM ISN'T A THING....
Hell, we were even told that internal orgasm WASN’T A THING at all.
��(Ha! Try to tell THAT to someone who has regular cervical orgasms! 
)
We were told that it'll be easier to 0rgasm if we just focus on the clit.
Pleasure during penetration is reserved for the lucky ones, right?
Wrong.��
OK LET'S BUST SOME MYTHS.
HERE IS MY TRUTH:
* FIRSTLY, THE CLITORIS IS AMAZING.
The clit has lots of nerve endings. It gives us mucho delicious pleasure when we give it attention. It’s bigger than we previously thought it was, which means that the clitoral network extends waaaay beyond the little glans, or pearl that we think of as the clit.��
* BUT IT’S NOT THE FULL PICTURE IN TERMS OF ORGASM��
Humans are capable of maaaaaany different kinds of orgasm, many of which don’t even involve genitals.
I’ve had intense PEAK orgasms without being touched, as well as from my hand being touched, from my leg being touched, from my breasts and from kissing (as well as from laughing).
Whole body orgasm is DEFINITELY also a thing.��
THEN there's the 0RGASMIC STATE, which might not have a peak, but can involve being in a heightened state of immense pleasure for minutes or even hours on end.
*SOOOOOO… ALL 0RGASMS ARE NOT CLITORAL
�I hate to break it to the powers that decided this based on some weirdly unscientific and highly flawed ‘science’… but all orgasms are NOT clitoral.
Not even close.
Even when we zoom in to genital specific orgasm, there’s still many different kinds that result in different sensations and a different experience of pleasure. ��
IT’S KINDA A NERVE THANG��
There are different nerve pathways to different parts of the pelvic area.
The clitoris is connected to the pudendal nerve, and the greater structure of the clitoris also connects to the pelvic nerve.
��INTRODUCING: THE CERVIX
��The cervix is the bottom bit of the uterus. It feels like a nose sticking out of the back of the vaginal canal. It’s the place where blood can come out, semen can go in and babies can come out.
The CERVIX, however, is innervated by THREE pairs of nerves: the pelvic nerve, the hypogastric nerve AND the vagus nerve.
It’s a totally different area, it’s NOT directly connected to the clitoral structure.
People with a cervix have the POTENTIAL to experience orgasms from direct cervical stimulation (using hands, a wand or dildo, OR through penetrative intimacy). It's also possible to experience cervical orgasm WITHOUT touch.
Cervical orgasms feel vastly different to clitoral ones, according to many reports.
It’s a powerful place.
��IF WE FOCUS ONLY ON THE CLIT, WE LIMIT OURSELVES��
ONLY focusing on your clit to feel pleasure (and nowhere else on your whole body or pelvic area) is like JUST eating bananas to feel nourished by food.
Sure, you CAN do that, but there’s a whole bunch of other epic ways to feel pleasure out there, if you’re interested!��
Pleasure is a vast, multi-layered, infinite universe that we can access in our daily lives in a bajillion different ways. Alone and with others.
We feel pleasure through our senses, through sight, taste, touch, sound and smell. ��
We connect with pleasure with a lover through flirting, anticipation, foreplay, whole body touch, connection, intimacy, sex of all kinds AND stimulation of specific areas.��
We’ll FEEL more pleasure from clit stimulation if we have longer foreplay, receive lots of whole body touch, feel safe with our lover & are connect to our body generally.
A harder or faster vibrator, or the right POSITION or ANGLE will not support you to build more ability to feel sensation in your body. Embodiment practice will.
WHAT IF 0RGASM WASN'T THE GOAL OF SEX?
When orgasm is the goal of sex, we bypass so much other deliciousness.
We’re so focused on GETTING OURS that we miss out on the connection, intimacy and whole bodied pleasure that can come from relating intimately with someone.
When we’re so focused on the GOAL, we often contract, we squeeze, we tense up and we might have a quick orgasm, but we’re usually not having that orgasm from a place of connection, to ourselves or our lover.
This is absolutely fine, unless you want it to be different.
PLEASURE CAN BE INCREDIBLY HEALTHY, THOUGH��
Our bodies are wired to experience pleasure.
Not in a dodgy, jacked-up-on-dopamine kinda way where we obsessively check our social media likes or get stuck in addictive patterns, but in a healthy, balanced, nervous system nourishing way.��
When we’re connected to pleasure regularly, we feel more relaxed, open, peaceful and warm towards those around us.
��For me, when I’m connected to pleasure regularly, I’m a better friend, a better lover, a more present facilitator, coach and bodyworker and challenges in my life become EASIER. ��
Feeling pleasure regularly helps to reduce stress and tension patterns, it relaxes us and supports us to feel balanced and functional in our lives.��
THE MAGIC KEY IS SENSITISING��
We can train our bodies to feel more.
Two of the most powerful ways to do that are through MOVEMENT and TOUCH.
Not just regular movement, like walking, swimming or going to the gym, but moving in a more freestyle way. Letting your body unwind and unravel.
Not just regular touch, like hugs or massage, but exploratory touch, curious touch.��
When we move and touch with curiosity, we discover more of our bodies. We learn more about ourselves.
We sensitise the nerve endings on the skin, we bring more blood flow and aliveness and we start to FEEL more everywhere.
��I spent a lot of time with people who have done years of sensitising practice, and the exquisite subtle waves of pleasure that they’re able to feel in their bodies is something most people wouldn’t even imagine was possible.��
OK SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CERVIX.
COMMON CERVIX-RELATED MYTHS:
* You need to avoid contact with the cervix during sex because if you touch it, it will be painful
* The cervix is just for baby making & bleeding, it doesn't really have any other purpose
* The cervix doesn't have any nerve endings so can't feel much.
* The cervix doesn't have capacity for pleasure or orgasm.
* All orgasms are clitoral anyway because the clitoris extends to inside the vagina, so there’s no such thing as cervical orgasm.��
WHAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE ABOUT THE CERVIX:��
1. THE CERVIX CAN HURT DURING SEX
Often for one or more of the following reasons: ��
*The sex is too hard or too fast�
* foreplay isn’t long enough for the cervix to move back and up and create more space
�* the sex is too rough for what feels good at the time
�* there’s an incompatibility with penls size and vaglna depth
�* there’s previous trauma related to this area (birth / medical procedures / sexual abuse etc).�
* you’re having sex when your body says no, you’re overriding somehow
2. BUT WHEN APPROACHED GENTLY AND WITH CARE, THE CERVIX OFTEN RESPONDS WELL
��3. INTIMACY INVOLVING THE CERVIX CAN BE DEEPLY NOURISHING FOR THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
Intimacy that involves the cervix can be DEEPLY nourishing for the nervous system, sometimes for days afterwards. This is partly due to the fact that the cervix is innervated by the vagus nerve, which is one of the most powerful nerves in the body; it controls heart function and is a huge part of the nervous system. ��
4. THE CERVIX HAS IMMENSE CAPACITY FOR FEELING SENSATION AND PLEASURE
However, often this part of us has been through a LOT and might be numb or desensitised.
It’s a bit of a journey to awaken pleasure there, but if you HAVE a cervix, you WILL be able to feel pleasure there, and it WILL be a worthwhile journey to take the time to awaken it. I promise.
5. CERVICAL 0RGASM IS A THING��
(One more time for those in the back!)
Cervical 0rgasm IS a thing.
It feels completely different to clitoral orgasm. Some people report experiences of deeper pleasure, a sense of expansion and opening. For me, after a cervical orgasm, I can feel high for days (in a good way!)��
6. CERVICAL 0RGASMS AREN'T BETTER THAN CLITORAL ONES...
Cervical 0rgasms aren’t BETTER than clitoral ones, they’re just DIFFERENT.����
IN CLOSING...
However you currently experience pleasure is valid.
Your current experience of 0rgasm is valid (even if you don't 0rgasm).
We've been conditioned in all kinds of ways that affect how we relate to our sexuaIity.
It's ok to be where we are with this stuff.
There's no type of 0rgasm we SHOULD be having.
There's no RIGHT way to DO pleasure.